Gondolas, Venice, Italy

TOP 10 EXUSES FOR GETTING OUT OF WORK

1. (For women) “I have really bad cramps.” Now before you dismiss this one, think about it: Who can argue? It’s such an embarrassing topic that nobody will ever challenge you. It’s one of those things that men honestly have no clue about and women can sympathize with.

2. (For men) “I have horrible diarrhea.” Again, before you dismiss this one, remember that it’s such an embarrassing topic — especially for a man — nobody will doubt your sincerity. Plus, it’s simple. You don’t need an elaborate back story because no one wants to hear the details. If anything, your boss and co-workers will admire you for your honesty.

3. “I’m having an allergic reaction to _______, and I need a day to recover.” This excuse requires a few details about when and where it happened as well as the details of your food allergy, but Google should give you everything you need. The upside of this excuse is that you can use it more than once. The downside is that it requires a good memory and some vigilance: for instance, you can’t claim a peanut allergy and then gorge yourself on Thai food at the next company junket.

4. “My grandmother’s/grandfather’s memorial service is today.” This excuse works for two reasons: first, because elderly people die everyday no one is going to think your excuse is unlikely; second, no one is going to question (or resent) a death in your family for fear of offending you. If you play your cards right, this excuse is good for four free days — one for each grandparent — with each new job.

5. “My wife/husband is extremely ill and I need to stay home and take care of them.” The excuse is a gem not only because you get a day off, but also because it makes you seem sensitive. The only drawback is that it requires an accomplice — namely, your spouse. As such, you may want to save this excuse for a special occasion when the two of you can organize a special three-day weekend.

6. “One of my children got in trouble at school. I need to go meet with his/her teacher and the school counselor.” This is only one of a multitude of excuses you can use with mischievous children. Just recycle the same formula — child gets in trouble, child needs help, parent to the rescue. This works with children of all ages, from children traumatized by irresponsible day-care workers to playground fights to errant teenagers. (Hey, this is one of the perks of having kids — they torment us 364 days of the year and we get 1 day off. Fair trade.)

7. “I took some work home last night and will be going through it today from home.” Whoever invented telecommuting should be sainted. Just remember that in order to sell the “working from home” excuse you need to email or call the office a couple times throughout the day to maintain the ruse that you’re working. The best time to do this is at lunch — that way you get credit for the call but you don’t have to answer too many questions.

8. “I have a doctor’s appointment.” At the very least, this excuse is good for a half-day; however, you can get a full day depending on how you plan it. Remember that people are nosy and they will probably toss-out some open-ended questions about how you’re feeling when you get back. The key is to be vague on the details. Visits to the doctor are much more effective if shrouded in mystery, which allows you maximum flexibility if you need to use the excuse again.

9. “I got pulled over for speeding on my way to work the other day and I have to go to traffic school.” The idea here is that you had minor trouble with the law (emphasis on minor) and you have to pay your dues. A variation on this would be letting your license expire — or at least claiming it did — which means you had to go to the DMV and take a written test as well as a driving test, which could easily take a full day. After all, the DMV has its reputation for a reason. And finally …

10. “My accountant made some clerical errors on my taxes and I’m being audited.” In the wake of the Enron scandal and the demise of Arthur Andersen, this excuse is a sure-thing. The important thing is to make the accountant look like the bad guy — you just need to be there to make sure he doesn’t do anything shady. Once again, the key to this excuse is to make everyone feel sorry for you, not envy you. What are your best excuses for getting out of work? Better yet, what are some of your worst excuses?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kari Whitaker is a technical as well as creative writer. In addition to articles on education and careers, she also enjoys writing short stories, essays, and poetry.

With the end of summertime quickly approaching, it’s hard not to have vacation on the brain. The Brown/Saide Residence in the Hamptons is a perfect mix of modern set in the country. The lofty residence was designed by Benjamin Noriega-Ortiz in collaboration with architect Brian E. Boyle and was built in the ’80s. The 6,700 sq. ft. residence is both private and perfect for entertaining when the owner’s feel lead. The exterior of the house is almost camouflaged by the lush, natural landscaping, creating an organic aesthetic that you would think might continue indoors. However, step inside and you will find the space is anything but. Rather, the interior features a clean, white palette, highlighted with bits of color and sleek furnishings. The striking contrast works, proving modern can be done in any context.

Displayed in Prague on October 8, 2009, this special edition of the luxury magazine “Royal Report” has the gold letters on the cover and alphabet R is decked out with diamonds. The organizers of the auction hope the special edition will find a place in the Guinness book of world records as the most expensive magazine in the world. The price for the magazine includes a yearly subscription, a vacation four times a year to any place in the world and 12 hours use of a jet plane. The background of the magazine features a portrait of Ivana Trump, ex-wife of property mogul Donald Trump. The special edition of luxury mag is expected to sell for more than 4 million Czech crowns ($229,394) when it will be auctioned off.

via: BORNRICH

via: archdaily

Designed by Barrett Prelogar and Franco Marino Cagnina, the Alfra Vico’s Marino 52 motor yacht meets the needs of the most discerning individuals. The Marino 52 has been designed with all the comforts and amenities to live on board full time. Envisioned as “motion art” of the highest echelon, the Marino 52 uses high-tech materials of lifelong quality and beauty throughout. When it comes to magnificence, the yacht leaves nothing unconsidered, from the cleats to the projectile anchor, to theconvertible exterior lounge-sofas/daybeds, to the fully computer-controlled helm station. The yacht is spacious enough to entertain 15 to 18 people for the day in extreme extravagance. There are multiple staterooms, multiple heads and a spacious galley below deck.

The galley is concealed when underway, but when at rest, the concealment panels can be stowed to reveal a suite of high-end appliances, including a highly polished stainless sink, microwave, refrigerators, ice maker, electric cooktop, BBQ grill and trash compactor. The Marino 52 offers a completely concealed yet versatile system for configuration of tables, bars, lounge seating and sunbathing. Alfra Vico has also invented new patent-pending electronic control systems, mechanizations, cleats and other imperative functional elements.

via: bornrich

The six-seater will be debuting later this month at the 2009 Tokyo Motor Show.

via: core77